


Challenge Me Not

by xwannaflyx



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BAMF Tsunade (Naruto), Gen, Mafia AU, Oro and Jiraiya are well meaning but dumb, Tsunade takes no shit and no prisoners, beheading warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 04:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17419274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xwannaflyx/pseuds/xwannaflyx
Summary: Tsunade is the head of the Senju Organized Crime Family and for all that she works as a doctor too, she doesn't allow anyone to mess with her city or her things. Everyone knows better than to challenge her.(Danzo isn't everyone.)





	Challenge Me Not

When Jiraiya and Orochimaru drag each other into her hospital ten minutes before the end of her forty hour shift, Tsunade violently repressed the urge to cry by breaking the table in half when she dropped her head onto the surface. 

“Oh, you’re still on duty,” Orochimaru said awkwardly, swaying slightly where the two of them were supporting each other and covered in a multitude of injuries. “I thought you had left by now.”

“Not helping, Oro,” she half-sobbed from her sprawl on the floor, wishing for the sweet embrace of sleep or death, she wasn’t very picky at this point. “I have ten minutes left,” she added, slowly pulling herself off the floor and rising. She refused to think about the fact that she, herself, was probably swaying a little bit.

“We’ll just step outside for ten minutes and wait for your shift to finish,” Jiraiya said cheerfully like that was actually an option. Orochimaru, who was apparently also a dumbass, nodded decisively and both of them attempted to turn around, stumbling into each other and the wall.

“Please stop,” Tsunade pleaded, heavily torn between mocking them mercilessly and crying. “I can heal you guys.”

“Oh no, the whole point was you were never supposed to find out about this,” Jiraiya blurted, before four hands all smacked over his mouth, abject horror filling his eyes.

“You weren’t supposed to say that!” Orochimaru hissed, shouldering Jiraiya roughly. His own eyes widened in horror and he clapped a hand over his mouth, looking very very alarmed for the usually stoic man. Tsunade mentally added head injuries to the list of injuries she had been cataloguing during their conversation. Reaching out, she grabbed both of their collars in one fist and began dragging them to an examination room. 

“Oh come on, Princess,” Jiraiya whined, attempting to wink at the nurses they were passing as all the hospital staff giggled at the rather common sight of an irate Tsunade dragging her two idiot friends behind her to an examination room. “All you had to do was pretend you didn’t see anything!”

“That’s quite literally the opposite of my oaths,” Tsunade replied dryly, ignoring their protests since they were clearly too stupid to come to her for any injuries. Dropping the two of them on the bed, she rolled back her sleeves and let her hands wash green with healing energy before she began scanning her friends for injuries and evidence of idiocy. 

After a couple moments of careful scanning, a slow frown came over her face, causing her two friends, who were rather familiar of her infamous temper, to begin attempting to retreat from her hands. “You know, I feel great,” Orochimaru said slowly, creeping his feet toward the floor and attempting to sway around Tsunade as Jiraiya nodded frantically in agreement. “I really think—”

“These are injuries typical for a deliberate beating,” Tsunade said slowly, the slow creeping wrath evident in her voice. “These are not injuries you get from being stupid and sparring.”

“Well, we were a little stupid,” Jiraiya admitted before shutting up when Orochimaru firmly planted an elbow in his ribs.

“Tsunade,” he said slowly, gently coaxing her hands away from their injuries and holding her hand carefully as her frown began to darken. “It was a bit of a mess, really, but you honestly don’t need to worry about it.”

“No one would dare touch you,” Tsunade said softly, her hands limp in Orochimaru’s grip but her eyes sharp and her mind running quickly. “No one would  _ dare _ lay hands on you after I set forth my claim.”

“And honestly, no one did,” Jiraiya agreed with an ill-timed laugh. His teeth clicked together when he shut his mouth, faced with the twin glares of his friends. 

“All the loyal families—” Her voice stopped and they knew she had figured it out. 

“Now Princess,” Jiraiya said hastily, laying a strong hand on her wrist. “It honestly wasn’t—”

“Loyal,” she repeated, gently twisting her hands away. “All the loyal families know better. But Danzo isn’t loyalis he. Not any longer. Not after what I did to his stupid plans.”

“Princess—”

“He would  _ dare _ ,” she snarled, her tattoos flaring to life as her anger rose, “he would  _ presume  _  to challenge  _ me _ , the descendent of the first two leaders of this region—”

“You would start a war, Princess,” Jiraiya said gently, carefully taking her hands again as her eyes burned in the distance. “We just finished a war. Let us not start another one over something as petty as—”

“You call this petty?” Tsunade demanded, her voice sharp but her hands gentle as she careful traced a bruise marring Orochimaru’s eye and the sluggish bleeding running down Jiraiya’s cheek. “You call this direct challenge something  _ petty _ ?”

“Danzo is a worm, Tsunade,” Orochimaru said quietly, his golden eyes strangely calm for all that one was swollen purple. “He doesn’t deserve your attention.”

Tsunade looked at her friends, her bonds forged in blood and sweat and tears, and slowly shook her head, “you think this is about him?” she asked gently, cupping their cheek. “Oh no. One idiot attacks you and in the next instant I have to subdue all the riffraff of Konoha. No. I will not let this pass.” Her eyes sharpened on the flinch that Orochimaru couldn’t suppress and the way Jiraiya’s eyes zoned in and out. “I will not.”

-x-

Death came for Danzo like goddamned tsunami, washing over his home with vengeance, fury, and a whole lot of screaming. Danzo, who had jerked awake at the first screams, steadied himself against the wall, a gun held in one hand and a carefully made trap seal lightly gripped in the other. His door ripped off its hinges was sent through the now broken wall. “Tsunade,” he said slowly, staring at the tattooed, glowing woman carefully stepping through his doorway.

“Danzo,” she greeted, her voice ringing with notes of wrath for all that the tone itself was technically pleasant. “Oh Danzo.” She carelessly flicked her hand, sending a wash of blood to coat his walls. “You shouldn’t have touched them,” she said, almost gentle. The smile the stretched her lip was humorless. “Especially not them.”

“You’re making Konoha weak,” he finally hissed, gathering his pride like a shroud and his anger like a shield. “You’re going to leave us broken and overrun by—”

“No,” she said calmly, “you are,” Her eyes glowed brighter and her tattoos darkened, her hair beginning to gently lift off her back from the energy she was expending. “Did you think I didn’t know about your little plots?” She took another step into the room, the ground collapsing under her feet. “Did you think that I had allowed your survival because of my  _ obliviousness _ ?”

“You’re a  _ child _ ,” Danzo spat back, his eyes fixed on the craters Tsunade’s feet were forming, something like fear starting to enter his eyes. “You don’t know—”

“—anything?” Tsunade smiled, a grand and terrible thing. “I know everything,” she snarled, her face suddenly twisting in fury. “Did you think I took the family business knowing  _ nothing _ ?” Her demand echoed through the house, the empty mausoleum to a soon-dying family. “Did you think your little machinations would get passed  _ me _ ?” She took another step closer, just out of arm’s reach. “I already gave you a warning,” she said slowly, “and I never warn someone twice.”

In her glowing eyes and her bloody hands, Danzo saw his demise. In a desperate move, he snapped up the gun and fired three shots, straight into her chest. “You should—”

“—know better, Danzo.” Tsunade laughed, clear and high and amused. Danzo watched horrified as the perfect shots into her chest began smoking, quickly sealing over and merely leaving the holes of her clothing as evidence the injuries had ever happened. Her expression darkened wrathfully, “I am Tsunade of the Legendary-fucking-Sannin!” she snarled, her energy rising like a cresting wave, “I am the heir to the Senju Family!” Her hand flew through the air, judge jury and executioner in one swift movement. 

She stared at Danzo’s rolling head and the slowly crumpling body dispassionately. “You never should have challenged me,” she whispered, almost gentle. Turning, she exited the once great home, now simply a monument as to why Tsunade Senju was not to be challenged. 


End file.
